what if, what if, what if...What if, what if, what if...
My hand is cold.
I can't help but wonder.
What if we were side by side, your arms around me?
Do your fingers know the songs to play on the ivories of my skin?
Would they be the same songs I have heard over and over again?
Or would you play a new melody, a tune without true end?
My hand is still cold
Are your hands warm?
Or do they have the quiet coolness I find in my own digits?
Your eyes what colors would I find there?
Are they icy steely grays and blues or warm brown and hazel?
What if, what if, what if
Story continuedTonight the winds are finally changing. There seems to be an actual bite instead of the playful nips. It has been raining for a few days, but with the icy wind is coming some sunlight at last. It seems to me to be an oxymoron. Sunshine should bring warmth and life. Not frost and elephant ears withering.
It always makes me sad, when the elephant ears wither. They used to make tents and jungle tents, and then they are shriveling up into neat rolls as if to say that summer is well and truly over.
But the sunlight is still there, and even though it's lying, it is nice to think that it is actually summertime in the clouds.
I don't know what it was that made me stare. He wasn't an athlete. He wasn't one of the student artists who seemed to make a point of putting as much paint and gunk on his person as on a canvas. There was no distinguished look to him. His clothing was almost carefully nondescript. Maybe it was his eyes.
I know, that is horribly cliché. About as cliché as P
A story beginningThe end-of-November tears fall with icy sighs. All around the world, limited to the vague surroundings, lovers copulate, fight, dance and laugh in their own little worlds. The petty strivings of these brief shells of lives don't mean much to me and my kind. They bloom and fade all too quickly. They are mere shadows before the dawn. Nothing. To actually care for one of these transient beings would be unheard of. We live among them and watch them, shallowly interacting, mingling in their businesses, schools, governments.
I always thought it was like trying to mix water and oil.
We always rise to the top and watch them evaporate away.
That is how it is.
That is how it has always been.
That is how it should never be.
That late autumn evening, I was walking back to my apartment after my classes at the university. Even though I am above humans, I have always been interested by their strange penchant for learning. It makes them almost seem like they could be capable of something great a
MomentsIn my own little world, I laughed.
The end-of-November tears fell with icy sighs. All around the world, limited to the vauge surrundings, lovers copulate, fight, dance and laugh in their own little worlds.
I laughed as I passed like a transient time lord through damp leaves and past empty playgrounds.
I smiled as I glided past rivals and realized that they suddenly meant little.
I blushed again.
I hadn't blushed in a long time.
Day dreamI started dreaming
Laying awake beneath the slumbering trees
I dreamed that I was not alone
That I was with you
I wanted to run my fingers through your hair
Turned to golden fire in the sunlight
I could almost feel the weight of you
Pressed against me
I could nearly smell the sun on your shoulders
The rise of your breath beating a counter harmony to my heartbeat
Me, Myself, and II am a woman and a girl. I am grown up, and confused. I am five foot nine. I sometimes feel small and insignificant. I often feel amazonian and detatched. I can't run in flip flops, but I can run in heels. I am a singer, who has lost her voice for the past month. That drives me mad. I am an actress, but not really. I will sing today a requiem for humanity, and a hymn for a lost mother. I am a shallow bitch, a woman who loves her clothes. I am a dreamer that cares too easily and tries to heal wounds with clumsy words. I am a lover who is all alone. I am a loner who hangs out with her friend all the time. I am twenty one years old, and wake in the morning wishing I were fifteen again. I have fallen in love at least four times. My heart has been broken at least six times. I miss the past. I can't wait to see what the hazy future holds for me. I hate papers and portfolios. School is the place I have been the happiest. My life is full of contradictions and oxymorons, but they are all still
CGIStars jump and comets leap
Carrying themselves across the midday sky
No numbers compute their probabilities
As fondly as I compute the distance from your lips to mine
Codes are scratched onto hips and thighs
Reddening messages of passion that need no words
Common computations mix with high fantasy
Edging the world in a computer gernerated glow
That emanates from mallorn trees
And the stars in your eyes
Vodka and KryptoniteIt's sucks seeing these uncomfortable truths echoing my life like perfect handheld mirrors used by the illusionists to see the minds of men and twist fakery into mysticality. Why can I not just let that go and drift on like last years dying leaves? What can I tell myself to forget those eyes that don't see me any more, those indiosyncracies that made me fall again and again and again? I'm tired of pain. I am tired of waiting. I would say I am sick of love...except when I fall in love, there is nothing better...no wine sweeter, no whiskey more warming and dizzy-making. I have a sneaking suspicion that you are my vodka. You are my kryptonite. Everytime I see your cinnamon eyes, I start weakening. You probably won't even ever read these admissions and confessions of stupidity. Maybe that is for the best. But you're still my vodka. Remember what that means? That one night...god, it seems ages ago...when you discovered vodka and kryptonite, and we remembered the evening, and you carved lies
Waiting...more...Well, I shared my life with you for the past small lifetime
I hoped and prayed and dreamed
But it still is leaving
There really is not anything I could do
So I'll say good bye
And set habitual dreams aside
You broke my heart
And I don't think that you can be the one to fix it
I'll just wait to see if there is someone who will fix it